Things were going OK for the past few weeks - I realize change is difficult, and they're trying to test me, but it really wasn't all that bad. Until TODAY. Oh.my.God. From the moment they walked in until the last period, they were seriously out of control in terms of disrespectful comments towards me, cussing at me, and blatently disregarding the rules. 4 of the 6 students present today had to be removed multiple times to the "Time Out" room. That hasn't been characteristic of them at ALL - usually one, maybe two students will have a bad day, but not like THIS. Normally my cooperating teacher tries to leave the room while I teach so as not to be the authoritative figure and influence their behavior, but she came back many many times today. Needless to say their behaviors didn't change.
Absolute chaos. I had barely any control all day long...and...crap, it's NEVER been this bad.
I seriously almost lost it today, a few times. I was sooo frustrated, on the verge of tears; but I knew if they saw me cry they'd have known they'd won, and I'd NEVER regain any ounce of control again. I still have 4 more weeks at this placement.
At the beginning it was soo hard to form relationships with the students; some even refused to work. Over time that's improved, and some of the students who expressed dislike for me and the changing roles in the classroom have warmed up to me considerably. Others, whom I thought I had "gotten through to" seem to be digressing. I'm not trying to take it personally, because I know I can't. It's just frustrating; I want them to succeed.
Ahhhh, OK, </endrant>. Any feedback would be appreciated!